at last, i can just be.
inclusive, EMPOWERING THERAPY FOR HIGH-ACHIEVING FOLKS stuck between self-protection and authentic connection
HI, I’M LUCA (THEY/HE).
I’m a queer, trans, mixed race Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Oakland, CA (Lisjan Ohlone land). I serve folks all across the state of California.
My practice supports high-performing adults stuck in cycles of anxiety, perfectionism, and shame, working exhaustively to get it “right.” Together, we honor and connect with the parts of you that took on too much responsibility too soon. We grieve, without judgment or blame, what was lost in learning to survive this way. We return to the inner wisdom of your body, allowing it to guide us into the clear, balanced, and meaningful life that you want.
When burdened with feelings of loneliness, self-doubt, and shame, we can feel out of touch with our potential to connect from the inside out. There is a soft center in you that continues to hum with life under its armor. In our work, we can release the protective need to push past your limits. I’ll help you find your way there.
i work with adults who learned to survive by performing excellence.
OFFERINGS
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INDIVIDUAL THERAPY
I provide therapy for high-performing adults whose inner accelerators are running on fumes. If this is you, you may feel overwhelmed and overburdened, unable to connect meaningfully with yourself and others. Within this context, a variety of other concerns might arise, such as anxiety and depression, major life transitions, interpersonal conflict, grief and loss, and explorations of sexuality and gender identity.
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1:1 RELATIONSHIP THERAPY
My 1:1 relationship therapy is for over-functioners looking to feel greater calm, confidence, and agency in their relationships. You might feel stuck between holding onto all the responsibility (even if no one asked you to) and wanting to be held. I can help you set appropriate boundaries, engage in healthy conflict, clarify expectations of yourself and others in relationships, and communicate unmet emotional needs.
Please note that this is different than couples therapy, in that I only work with individuals.
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GENDER AFFIRMING THERAPY
Gender affirming therapy is for anyone starting the process of intentionally and mindfully exploring their gender identity, and for people who feel clear in their gender identity but want to deepen their understanding of how their gender intersects with other parts of their lives and identities. Areas of focus can include social transition, medical transition, sex and romance, and internalized expectations of the “right” way to perform gender.
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IFS THERAPY
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapy model based on the idea that we are all made up of parts that help us move through the world. IFS honors the ways in which parts have tried tirelessly to protect us, and seeks to liberate parts from roles and responsibilities that they may no longer want to carry. As an IFS practitioner, I help you make space for your different parts while helping them release what has outgrown them.
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SOMATIC THERAPY
I incorporate somatic therapy to help people reconnect with their bodies. When our most precious qualities are repeatedly criticized, attacked, or made invisible, our inherent ability to connect with our emotions and sensations gets disrupted. Through focusing and deepening into your felt sense of being, I can help you feel your way through your emotions without distraction, defensiveness, and dissociation.
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EMDR THERAPY
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is a model that uses the brain’s natural capacity to heal trauma. People who undergo EMDR therapy commonly report that their trauma feels like something that happened to them in the past, as opposed to something that continues to happen within them over and over again. I use a combination of somatic approaches and Internal Family Systems (IFS) when doing EMDR in order to provide comprehensive healing.
WHO I WORK WITH
Queer, trans, BIPOC, and mixed race folks seeking to reclaim their agency and identity outside of pressures to deny who they are
Neurodivergent folks who feel exhausted from masking and want to embody more of their authentic selves
High-achieving professionals who want to release burdens of responsibility and restore what’s important to them
People-pleasers looking to re-pattern putting on everyone else’s oxygen masks but their own
Survivors of trauma who want to move from re-living it in the present to moving it into the past
People overwhelmed with anxiety seeking ease and spaciousness
People finding their way through body liberation who want to cultivate a more compassionate relationship with their bodies
Children of immigrants and eldest adult children who value closeness with their families outside of obligation
I work well with people who are self-reflective and curious about themselves. They notice that there’s something off in their lives and feel motivated to explore what’s going on; they turn toward the issue and want to understand it better.
how i work
My style is collaborative, thoughtful, and warm. I am emotionally engaged and responsive, offering compassionate reflections and informed insights from I’m hearing and sensing from you. In our therapy, I center trust and safety so that you know I am here with you at your own pace; there is no pressure for you to move faster or toward any particular outcome-based destination.
Informed by my own experiences as a racialized, disabled, queer & trans person, I have a deep capacity for complexity and view your history, both personally and ancestrally, as central to the healing work. I hold your intricate story with respect and care.
My commitment to working with multiply marginalized people has offered me the gift of nearly a decade of experience supporting clients who are queer, trans, BIPOC, mixed race, neurodivergent, chronically ill, disabled, fat, and children of immigrants.
release the status quo
You have carried the pressure to perform and be responsible for so long. If any of this sounds familiar, I hope that you can feel, even just a tiny bit, a sense of softening. Of opening into possibility. Of exhaling into the ease from putting some of this down. In our work together, I’ll help you lay these burdens to rest while staying connected to the important things in your life.
“AND IT’S INSIDE MYSELF THAT I MUST CREATE SOMEONE WHO WILL UNDERSTAND.”
Clarice Lispector